Blackcatloner Reviews The Last American Virgin

Today I review an 80’s teen sex comedy with a very controversial and realistic ending, not to mention that it pretty much predicted today’s dating culture.

When I talk about Brett Ratner wanting to direct the remake of this movie, the link to the article is here: http://www.firstshowing.net/2011/brett-ratner-now-working-on-a-remake-of-the-last-american-virgin/

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Blackcat Riffs: SEX MADNESS!

Today I riff on one of the most infamous (not to mention longest) Public Domain educational movies ever produced: Sex Madness, which was produced by the same people who brought you Reefer Madness. It’s got it all: Hot girls, lesbians, creepy guys, syphilis, bad acting, bad sound quality and bad writing as only a typical 1930’s movie can produce.

This one was a bit of a challenge to create (and not just because of its nearly hour-long running time,) but primarily because the sound quality was so bad that it was hard to determine where to put the jokes and I actually had more jokes but I had to cut quite a bit out because of complications with my editing software.

So if you have an hour to spare today, check it out. Enjoy!

I Will Not Pay to Online Date!

That pretty much sums it up.

That pretty much sums it up.

I figure I’d now take the opportunity to do a little dating rant based on both a paper I wrote in Creative Writing class last semester at HCCC and also based on actual experience. Okay, here we go.

Here’s the situation. You’re on a dating site looking for someone who could easily become your significant other. Then one day, he or she decides to send you a message. You go online and check your inbox to see his or her message. You go to click on the message and next thing you know, the site’s asking you for your credit card information because they want you to pay a membership fee before you can talk to the person trying to message you.

Has this ever happened to you? Well, being a man of the Internet myself, it has happened to me several times. And no folks, I did not give the site my credit card. But still, I am sort of mad about this. I mean, we’re talking about the major dating sites like Match.com, Cupid.com, eHarmony.com and countless others. Match.com takes it a step further and asks for the credit card just to see who viewed your profile. They’re the ones who advertise that they have a very high success ratio in matching people up and yet they sneak in that “free trial membership” deal just to get you to pay. This is absolute crap.

Now I know that there are free sites out there that people can go to (and I belong to a couple of them) such as OKCupid.com, DateHookup.com or you can even use the social networking sites like Facebook and other sites. I have had slightly better luck on the social networking sites than I have had on either the dating sites or offline. Although none of the potential dates I met on the social networking sites led to anything lasting, at least I didn’t have to be prompted to whip out the ol’ credit card to talk to someone.

However, I still think that paying money to talk to someone on a dating site is just too much. Probably the only valid reason I would accept as far as people paying to talk to a potential significant other is that the site is trying to curb creepers and scammers that would otherwise have a field day on the free sites. However, it also has the potential to keep out people who are sincere about finding someone and who may not even have a credit card to use to pay to talk to someone.

And in that case, I just think that’s wrong. But that’s just me.

In conclusion, I just think that if the main dating sites did away with their fees and their “free trial membership” tactics, people would actually have better luck meeting people without having to shell out the credit card to pay unnecessary money just to talk to someone who may or may not be interested in them. That way, more people would actually use the site to hopefully find the happiness they deserve without having to reach for the wallet.

The reaching for the wallet part should be reserved for the date itself.

Q & A: Let’s Go Out To the Movies

I figured for this week’s Q & A segment, I would have a theme this week. And the theme is movies. We watch movies every day (TV, DVD, cable, satellite, theaters, Internet, etc.) and we love ’em, despite the fact that there are a few that actually suck. But either way, you can’t deny that they’re an escape from the hell that is real life. So without further ado, let’s begin with the Formspring questions first:

Q: What do you think is the worst movie sequel ever made?

A: Apart from anything having to do with Twilight, there are at least a few of them that I have seen that fit the bill to me: Karate Kid 3 (which I felt was unnecessary), Rocky V (too depressing to be a Rocky movie), Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace (even though there were some good moments), Star Trek: Insurrection (’nuff said there), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (the worst Indiana Jones film ever and too gruesome especially for a movie aimed at kids), and Joel Schumacher’s Batman and Robin (A BAT CREDIT CARD?!)

Q: If you have a secret that you just can’t keep, who do you tell it to?

A: Someone I can actually trust.

Q: What would be your crazy “I just won the lottery” purchase?

A: Too many things to name. Guess I’m gonna have to wait a while longer.

Q: As a kid did you ever get nightmares from seeing a movie you were way too young for?

A: Yes.

Q: What’d you think of the movie “Inception”?

A: I thought it was awesome. Chris Nolan is the man.

Q: Do you wake up early?

A: Sometimes.

Q: Fashion you hate?

A: Anything that looks too dorky.

Q: Ice cream – cone, cup or milkshake?

A: All of the above.

Q: Would you rather have a dragon, a space ship, or a time machine?

A: Either a spaceship or a time machine, but mainly a time machine.

Q: Coffee or Tea?

A: Coffee.

Q: Pen or pencil?

A: 99 percent of the time I use a pen. I don’t use pencils that much except for Scantron tests at school.

Q: Top 10 movies of all time?

A: I assume by this Rotten Tomatoes.com means my top 10 favorite movies of all time. But anyway, my top 10 favorite movies of all time are as follows:

1. Titanic
2. Pulp Fiction
3. Taxi Driver
4. Rocky
5. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
6. The Dark Knight
7. Star Wars: A New Hope (the original Star Wars)
8. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
9. The Shawshank Redemption
10. The Avengers

…with an honorable mention going to “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” probably the greatest action-adventure movie of all time. Actually I’m thinking about doing a Top 20 video on my favorite movies of all time and this question pretty much set that in motion.

Q: Do you like Batman?

A: Hell, yeah! Can’t wait for Dark Knight Rises. Bane looks really awesome in that movie and since it’s Chris Nolan directing there’s no chance that Bane will be screwed up (unlike what Joel Schumacher did to him in “Batman and Robin” for that matter.) And as I think I mentioned before in previous videos, Batman is one of my all-time favorite comic book heroes (second only to Spider-Man.)

Q: Do you guys think there should be a “Legend of Zelda” movie?

A: As long as they don’t screw it up like they did the Mario Bros. movie. But then again, I’m not really a Zelda fan. Never played it. I was more of a Mario fan and as far as them making the Zelda movie goes, I really don’t care either way. If it looks good, I’ll see it but otherwise, I really don’t care.

Q: What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a movie ticket?

A: $8.50 and I think that was at the Marquee Cinema in New Hartford. Now it’s up to like 10 bucks and an extra 4 bucks to see a 3D movie there.

Q: What is the best fictional vacation spot? Narnia, Middle-Earth, Pern, Oz, etc…

A: I heard Pandora is nice this time of year.

Q: How tall are you? Have you ever wished to be a different height?

A: 5’11” and no, I don’t wish to be a different height.

Q: Would you be a good babysitter?

A: No.

Q: How many times have you seen your favorite movie?

A: Numerous times.

Q: Are you addicted to Skyrim?

A: No. I don’t play Skyrim. I can’t really afford to play video games.

Q: Are you sarcastic often?

A: Me? Sarcastic? Nooooooo… well, actually yes.

Q: Front, middle or back of the movie theater?

A: When I was a kid, I usually sat in the front, but as an adult, I usually sit in the back.

Q: What’s the best holiday movie?

A: That’s a no-brainer. A Christmas Story, of course, followed by Christmas Vacation and It’s a Wonderful Life.

Q: Favorite Spider-Man villain?

A: Venom all the way!

Q: What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen online recently?

A: The Nostalgia Critic. I started watching him earlier this year and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Q: Funny or Die.com wanted me to check out 12 comedies that they thought were made to sound like intense dramas. Which one looks the most serious?

A: I would have to go with “Up” on this one. That was really good.

Q: Would you rather take a picture or have your picture taken?

A: Doesn’t matter. If I didn’t enjoy taking pictures, I wouldn’t be doing this whole Internet gig. Lol

Q: What was the last film you saw that inspired you or moved you?

A: Rocky.

Q: What’s your favorite way to work out? In the gym, playing a team sport, taking a class or some other way?

A: In the gym.

Q: Are you shy?

A: I can be.

Q: Oday ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?

A: Say what?

Q: Love or Sex?

A: If I can have both then I would say both, but if I had to choose only one I would have to go with sex.

Q: Can you flare your nostrils?

A: (Flares nostrils) Yeah. Does that answer your question?

Q: Which are scarier: bats or rats?

A: Neither one really although bats can be annoying when they buzz over your head all the time.

Q: Would you prefer to be a movie star or musician?

A: Movie star. I can’t sing to save my life.

Q: Is it hard for you to admit when you’re wrong?

A: Sometimes.

Q: Who knows you best?

A: Not many people.

Q: Who would you say is the sexiest women alive?

A: Finally! Someone asked the magic question! In fact I’ll do better than give out one answer. I’ll give you a top 10 list:

1. Sofia Vergara
2. Jennifer Aniston
3. Jennifer Love Hewitt
4. Scarlett Johansson
5. Katy Perry
6. Natalie Portman
7. Jessica Biel
8. Mila Kunis
9. Jennifer Lawrence (the chick from “The Hunger Games”)
10. Jennifer Garner

Honorable mention goes to Kelly Clarkson. And the reason I gave out a top 10 list for this answer is for a question like this, one answer just simply isn’t enough.

Q: What do you think of Emma Watson?

A: For those of you who don’t know who Emma Watson is, she was Hermione in the Harry Potter movies. I think she’s a good actress and she’s also pretty hot. I can’t wait to see what she does in the future. In fact, I read an article recently on her latest movie called The Bling Ring. And it’s a true story based on the whole Hollywood robbery crime spree that affected many Hollywood celebrities, most notably Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Not that Paris and Lindsay are saints, mind you. But I saw Emma in her costume for the movie and oh, my god. She is so hot. Them Potter kids are growing up so fast.

Q: What do you think of Nicki Minaj?

A: Less said about her, the better.

Now let’s move on to the Meetme.com questions:

Q: Have you ever have a hard time meeting someone in your town?

A: Yeah.

Q: How many people does someone have to sleep with before you consider them promiscuous?

A: I don’t think that there’s any real set number. It all boils down to behavior.

Q: Do you believe in karma?

A: Yes.

Q: If you had to give up sex or meat for a year which would you choose?

A: I wouldn’t give up either one.

Q: How many movies do you think you’ve seen in your lifetime?

A: Quite a bit. Not sure about how many I actually saw in theaters. I lost track after 2003.

Q: How do you feel about dating when there is an age difference?

A: Depends on what the age difference is, though I wouldn’t have any problem dating someone older than me unless they’re either old enough to be my grandmother or younger than 18 because they’re not worth going to jail for.

Q: If someone was hitting on you and you weren’t attracted to them, how would you handle the situation?
A: Just say the magic phrases: “Not interested” or “You’re not my type” and walk away.

Remember, if you want to ask me questions and don’t have Formspring, you can ask your questions in the comment section below the video or here on the blog. Remember, no offensive questions or comments will be accepted.