Blackcat Riffs: SEX MADNESS!

Today I riff on one of the most infamous (not to mention longest) Public Domain educational movies ever produced: Sex Madness, which was produced by the same people who brought you Reefer Madness. It’s got it all: Hot girls, lesbians, creepy guys, syphilis, bad acting, bad sound quality and bad writing as only a typical 1930’s movie can produce.

This one was a bit of a challenge to create (and not just because of its nearly hour-long running time,) but primarily because the sound quality was so bad that it was hard to determine where to put the jokes and I actually had more jokes but I had to cut quite a bit out because of complications with my editing software.

So if you have an hour to spare today, check it out. Enjoy!

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Q & A: Let’s Go Out To the Movies

I figured for this week’s Q & A segment, I would have a theme this week. And the theme is movies. We watch movies every day (TV, DVD, cable, satellite, theaters, Internet, etc.) and we love ’em, despite the fact that there are a few that actually suck. But either way, you can’t deny that they’re an escape from the hell that is real life. So without further ado, let’s begin with the Formspring questions first:

Q: What do you think is the worst movie sequel ever made?

A: Apart from anything having to do with Twilight, there are at least a few of them that I have seen that fit the bill to me: Karate Kid 3 (which I felt was unnecessary), Rocky V (too depressing to be a Rocky movie), Star Wars: Episode I- The Phantom Menace (even though there were some good moments), Star Trek: Insurrection (’nuff said there), Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (the worst Indiana Jones film ever and too gruesome especially for a movie aimed at kids), and Joel Schumacher’s Batman and Robin (A BAT CREDIT CARD?!)

Q: If you have a secret that you just can’t keep, who do you tell it to?

A: Someone I can actually trust.

Q: What would be your crazy “I just won the lottery” purchase?

A: Too many things to name. Guess I’m gonna have to wait a while longer.

Q: As a kid did you ever get nightmares from seeing a movie you were way too young for?

A: Yes.

Q: What’d you think of the movie “Inception”?

A: I thought it was awesome. Chris Nolan is the man.

Q: Do you wake up early?

A: Sometimes.

Q: Fashion you hate?

A: Anything that looks too dorky.

Q: Ice cream – cone, cup or milkshake?

A: All of the above.

Q: Would you rather have a dragon, a space ship, or a time machine?

A: Either a spaceship or a time machine, but mainly a time machine.

Q: Coffee or Tea?

A: Coffee.

Q: Pen or pencil?

A: 99 percent of the time I use a pen. I don’t use pencils that much except for Scantron tests at school.

Q: Top 10 movies of all time?

A: I assume by this Rotten Tomatoes.com means my top 10 favorite movies of all time. But anyway, my top 10 favorite movies of all time are as follows:

1. Titanic
2. Pulp Fiction
3. Taxi Driver
4. Rocky
5. Terminator 2: Judgment Day
6. The Dark Knight
7. Star Wars: A New Hope (the original Star Wars)
8. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
9. The Shawshank Redemption
10. The Avengers

…with an honorable mention going to “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” probably the greatest action-adventure movie of all time. Actually I’m thinking about doing a Top 20 video on my favorite movies of all time and this question pretty much set that in motion.

Q: Do you like Batman?

A: Hell, yeah! Can’t wait for Dark Knight Rises. Bane looks really awesome in that movie and since it’s Chris Nolan directing there’s no chance that Bane will be screwed up (unlike what Joel Schumacher did to him in “Batman and Robin” for that matter.) And as I think I mentioned before in previous videos, Batman is one of my all-time favorite comic book heroes (second only to Spider-Man.)

Q: Do you guys think there should be a “Legend of Zelda” movie?

A: As long as they don’t screw it up like they did the Mario Bros. movie. But then again, I’m not really a Zelda fan. Never played it. I was more of a Mario fan and as far as them making the Zelda movie goes, I really don’t care either way. If it looks good, I’ll see it but otherwise, I really don’t care.

Q: What’s the most you’ve ever paid for a movie ticket?

A: $8.50 and I think that was at the Marquee Cinema in New Hartford. Now it’s up to like 10 bucks and an extra 4 bucks to see a 3D movie there.

Q: What is the best fictional vacation spot? Narnia, Middle-Earth, Pern, Oz, etc…

A: I heard Pandora is nice this time of year.

Q: How tall are you? Have you ever wished to be a different height?

A: 5’11” and no, I don’t wish to be a different height.

Q: Would you be a good babysitter?

A: No.

Q: How many times have you seen your favorite movie?

A: Numerous times.

Q: Are you addicted to Skyrim?

A: No. I don’t play Skyrim. I can’t really afford to play video games.

Q: Are you sarcastic often?

A: Me? Sarcastic? Nooooooo… well, actually yes.

Q: Front, middle or back of the movie theater?

A: When I was a kid, I usually sat in the front, but as an adult, I usually sit in the back.

Q: What’s the best holiday movie?

A: That’s a no-brainer. A Christmas Story, of course, followed by Christmas Vacation and It’s a Wonderful Life.

Q: Favorite Spider-Man villain?

A: Venom all the way!

Q: What’s the funniest thing you’ve seen online recently?

A: The Nostalgia Critic. I started watching him earlier this year and I’ve been hooked ever since.

Q: Funny or Die.com wanted me to check out 12 comedies that they thought were made to sound like intense dramas. Which one looks the most serious?

A: I would have to go with “Up” on this one. That was really good.

Q: Would you rather take a picture or have your picture taken?

A: Doesn’t matter. If I didn’t enjoy taking pictures, I wouldn’t be doing this whole Internet gig. Lol

Q: What was the last film you saw that inspired you or moved you?

A: Rocky.

Q: What’s your favorite way to work out? In the gym, playing a team sport, taking a class or some other way?

A: In the gym.

Q: Are you shy?

A: I can be.

Q: Oday ouyay eakspay igpay atinlay?

A: Say what?

Q: Love or Sex?

A: If I can have both then I would say both, but if I had to choose only one I would have to go with sex.

Q: Can you flare your nostrils?

A: (Flares nostrils) Yeah. Does that answer your question?

Q: Which are scarier: bats or rats?

A: Neither one really although bats can be annoying when they buzz over your head all the time.

Q: Would you prefer to be a movie star or musician?

A: Movie star. I can’t sing to save my life.

Q: Is it hard for you to admit when you’re wrong?

A: Sometimes.

Q: Who knows you best?

A: Not many people.

Q: Who would you say is the sexiest women alive?

A: Finally! Someone asked the magic question! In fact I’ll do better than give out one answer. I’ll give you a top 10 list:

1. Sofia Vergara
2. Jennifer Aniston
3. Jennifer Love Hewitt
4. Scarlett Johansson
5. Katy Perry
6. Natalie Portman
7. Jessica Biel
8. Mila Kunis
9. Jennifer Lawrence (the chick from “The Hunger Games”)
10. Jennifer Garner

Honorable mention goes to Kelly Clarkson. And the reason I gave out a top 10 list for this answer is for a question like this, one answer just simply isn’t enough.

Q: What do you think of Emma Watson?

A: For those of you who don’t know who Emma Watson is, she was Hermione in the Harry Potter movies. I think she’s a good actress and she’s also pretty hot. I can’t wait to see what she does in the future. In fact, I read an article recently on her latest movie called The Bling Ring. And it’s a true story based on the whole Hollywood robbery crime spree that affected many Hollywood celebrities, most notably Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. Not that Paris and Lindsay are saints, mind you. But I saw Emma in her costume for the movie and oh, my god. She is so hot. Them Potter kids are growing up so fast.

Q: What do you think of Nicki Minaj?

A: Less said about her, the better.

Now let’s move on to the Meetme.com questions:

Q: Have you ever have a hard time meeting someone in your town?

A: Yeah.

Q: How many people does someone have to sleep with before you consider them promiscuous?

A: I don’t think that there’s any real set number. It all boils down to behavior.

Q: Do you believe in karma?

A: Yes.

Q: If you had to give up sex or meat for a year which would you choose?

A: I wouldn’t give up either one.

Q: How many movies do you think you’ve seen in your lifetime?

A: Quite a bit. Not sure about how many I actually saw in theaters. I lost track after 2003.

Q: How do you feel about dating when there is an age difference?

A: Depends on what the age difference is, though I wouldn’t have any problem dating someone older than me unless they’re either old enough to be my grandmother or younger than 18 because they’re not worth going to jail for.

Q: If someone was hitting on you and you weren’t attracted to them, how would you handle the situation?
A: Just say the magic phrases: “Not interested” or “You’re not my type” and walk away.

Remember, if you want to ask me questions and don’t have Formspring, you can ask your questions in the comment section below the video or here on the blog. Remember, no offensive questions or comments will be accepted.

Naughty Female Refs, Beavis and Butt-Head, and Which F#ck You Song Is Better

Here’s the latest fun-filled Q & A vlog filled with some really good questions this time out. Let’s get this started with the Formspring questions first:

Q: What qualities do you look for when you’re dating someone?

A: IDK… attractive, nice, funny. Not too fussy.

Q: Would you rather hang out with a small group of friends or a large group?

A: Small group. I’ll have to wait and see how I’ll do in a large group when and if I become more famous.

Q: Besides Formspring, what websites do you check the most often?

A: Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and this blog.

Q: Do you have pets?

A: Yeah. I have a crazy black cat named Arthur. The other two cats, Princess Kitty and Skittles are my stepniece’s cats.

Q: What’s your favorite TV show from the 1990s?

A: Beavis and Butt-Head. Thank god MTV’s bringing them back. I just got an update that the new Beavis and Butt-Head series is due to start sometime this summer. That show has gotten me and many people in my generation through high school and it will be awesome to see them again. The new show is going to have a more contemporary feel to it but the core characters will remain the same. The only difference is that instead of music videos, they will be reviewing YouTube videos and reality shows. However my question to you is, “Can Beavis and Butt-Head survive on a network they once ruled but is now ruled by “Jersey Shore?”

Q: Which song do you think is better Lily Allen’s “F#ck You”, Or Cee-Lo Green’s “F#ck You,” more commonly known by its radio-edited title, “Forget You?” Personally the person who asked this  likes Cee Lo’s version better.

A: I agree. Cee-Lo’s version is definitely better and much funnier too.

Q: What’s your favorite video game?

A: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City for PS2. I don’t own a PS3, Wii or an Xbox 360. I can’t afford it.

Q: Which do you enjoy more … filming or editing?

A: I enjoy both equally.

Q: What rule do you find yourself always breaking?

A: No comment.

Q: Most annoying song?

A: That “Friday” song by Rebecca Black. Another update on that too: Last week it broke the 100 million view mark, which is very disturbing. The good news: She now has over 2 million thumbs down ratings and still climbing. Or should I say, falling? Hahahaha. Also I heard that she’s planning to go on tour or something like that. If that’s true, then God help us all.

Q: Have you ever been called something bad alot that you know you’re not and believe 100% you’re not?

A: Hasn’t everybody?

Q: What color are your eyes?

A: Hazel.

Q: What’s sexier: A female football player or a naughty female referee?

A: Definitely the naughty ref, unless the football player looks like Kathy Ireland did in the 1991 film, “Necessary Roughness.”

Q: Describe yourself with a word that starts with the first letter of your first name.

A: Tough.

Q: Have you ever been abducted by space aliens?

A: Not to my knowledge. Unless they did and used some memory wipe ray gun on me, it’s safe to assume that I have never been abducted by aliens.

Q: What do you do if you suspect someone likes you?

A: No idea.

Now on to the Myyearbook Questions:

Q: Do you believe in vampires,werewolves, and demons?

A: I did until Twilight ruined it. At least the zombie genre is still intact. However, in defense of 21st Century vampires, I have to say that “The Vampire Diaries” is at least halfway decent. After all, it’s got a hotter actress than Kristen Stewart.

Q: Who loves the full moon?

A: I do, I do. lol.

Q: When you look in the mirror, what is the first thing you see?

A: My face.

Q: Do you prefer crayons or markers?

A: Markers. Crayons are for kids.

Q: Are you single and looking?

A: Yes, I’m single and looking, but not for marriage.

Q: Do you fall in love easily?

A: Not so much anymore.

Q: How often do you believe it is normal to want sex? The person who asked thinks 14 times a week is 😉

A: As much and as often as possible! 😉

Best Song to Have Sex To

And here are some more questions that I got from Myyearbook.com to celebrate the inaugural Q & A vlog that is not an episode of The Adventures of Blackcatloner.

Q: What’s the nerdiest thing you do?

A: Hang out online.

Q: If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

A: What I do online.

Q: What’s your favorite quote from a movie?

A: You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me?

Q: Do you write poetry?

A: No.

Q: What’s your favorite board game?

A: Monopoly, especially when it’s at McDonald’s.

Q: How did millions of life forms evolve with absolutely no evidence of major change?

A: Another one of life’s great mysteries.

Q: What do you feel is your true calling in life?

A: What I do now… (blogging, YouTube, etc.)

Q: Why is marmalade not called orange jam?

A: No idea.

Q:  What do you think is the best song to have sex to?

A: Freak Me by Silk. Note: If you were born after 1992, you might not know who I’m talking about.

Q: Why does X stand for a kiss? Why does O stand for a hug?

A: No idea.

Q: How many people have you dated?

A: No comment.

Q: What’s your favorite kind of cake?

A: Any with cream in the middle.

Q: Would you rather watch a sitcom, a reality show, a police drama, a legal drama, or a medical drama? Or something else? Why?

A: Any except for medical or legal dramas because I feel they’ve been done to death.

Q: What age do you think is too young to have sex?

A: No younger than 17.

Q: Why doesn’t the hair on your arms grow as fast as the hair on your head?

A: Hmmm… Not cold enough?

Q: What color underwear are you wearing right now?

A: Wouldn’t you like to know? lol. 😉

Q: Why do people eat unhealthy meals and then get a Diet Coke?

A: Cause they like it.

Q: What do you daydream about?

A: Being rich, finding love, and a variety of other things.

Q: How do you like your pancakes? Old fashioned maple syrup? Some kinda fruit? Chocolate chips? Or some other way all together? 😀

A: A little of each. 🙂

Q: Who’s your Valentine? ♥ mass

A: Not sure yet.